THE DRAMA IN The Days of our LIVES (developing your ‘no drama’ muscle)

dirtA mother is pushing one of her kids on a swing, constantly yelling at him to hold on tight (if the kid held on any tighter he would break the chain) as she screams to the other end of the playground at her other son to put down the dirt, he is going to ruin his new shirt…

Two women are talking on a bench. I hear one of them raving to her friend about some terrible thing that occurred in another city. She heard about it on the news, her arms gesturing wildly in the air as she speaks. The friend responds with a shake of the head, a wide opened mouth and a “just utterly disgusting!“…

A young woman is walking through the park, she sees a stick, but believes it to be a snake. She suddenly jumps and screams…

A phone rings. A man answers it thinking that it is his wife complaining that he is late for dinner. Before she can even speak he responds in a brusk and irritated tone, “I’m coming, I’m coming”. She only wanted to ask him if he could pick up some butter on the way home and tell him that she loves him…

What connects all of these scenarios is DRAMA

Nothing that happened in any of them is actually real. The only thing real is the unnecessary DRAMA that was added to each situation.

If you look around and listen, this is how many of us react all day long. The slightest act causes us to transform ourselves into George’s mother on Seinfeld. Our children, even the younger ones, talk ‘dramatically’ about just about everything… it is no surprise.. they learn it from the Disney channel. The stars, the sports figures, the politicians, the post man… they all add Drama to ‘it’.

scream2

You see, the more we do it the more it becomes habit. The more we hear it the more it becomes normal. The more we accept it the more it becomes the way we speak and respond and react. The more we believe it the more it becomes our reality… a reality that is unhealthy for us and those we interact with, unhealthy for the world and all its ‘issues’… a reality that leads to stress, hysteria, harsh feelings, negativity and lots and lots of unreal DRAMA.

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Kenia, my 10 year old, has always had a habit of making crumbs. One day, I saw her at the table with something round in her hand which seemed like a cookie. I had just finished cleaning up and immediately said to her, in not such a nice tone, “Don’t make crumbs!“. She looked at me strangely and then smiled as she responded, “Since when does my eraser make crumbs mom?!”.

Obviously, I knew that I had exaggerated. Even if it were a cookie (which it was not) and she had made crumbs, she would have cleaned them up like she always does. What was the big deal? I created the entire scenario and was nasty with my daughter for no real reason. Now that I have recognized it, now that I know, I pay more attention not to add extra drama to my daily scenarios. I ask myself: Is this real or is this me adding drama? And, it usually stops there.

So, next time something ‘unreal’ happens, you can try acknowledging it as your scenario

and, you can stop and ask yourself how big the drama is gonna be today? milk
This post was inspired from Jeff Brown’s words below. Read and reflect.
with peace and serenity,
firma danni

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Sometimes people invite us into a drama that is of value to us- we have something to learn in the heart of it. But sometimes it is of no value to us- someone wants to live out their stuff, someone wants a wound-mate to join them in their trigger-fest. Drama loves company. And if we grew up with chaos, we may jump in without realizing that boundaries were possible. Old drama habits die hard. We recreate what we know best. But we do have a choice- we really do. We can tell them to live it out somewhere else. We can establish a boundary. We can choose peace. Developing your “no drama” muscle may well save your life. A drama-based lifestyle drains the adrenals and invites disease. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy that keeps returning. Best to draw a line in the sand and refuse the invitation… (Jeff Brown)

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